So why am I looking over my shoulder.... looking for the Universe to yank the rug.
and this is for posterity...
6 messages
Alex Wed,
Jul 29, 2020 at 7:51 PM
To: Enrique Chavira
I'm going to make that the title of a future book I
plan to write but will probably forget about within a week.
But enough about that. So I've had this weird
tinker/gadget/builder bug since who knows when, and I know the human biology on
it now as well. I've been trying to plan the next steps now that I have a job
secured and was thinking how it's somewhat of a bummer that the job is
temporary when I was thinking about what I have planned as what's going to be
something hopefully full time. Making things, sort of cheap rustic picnic
furniture with a modern twist and have integrated electronics, phone charger,
bluetooth speakers, lights, etc..
I've tinkered and stopped and started for so long I
always got discouraged because circumstances usually made continuing new
hobbies not feasible. The depression being a big culprit of it all but now that
that seems to be "non-existent", which again... skeptical happiness
is here at the moment. I see the pieces of a puzzle I have been working on for
so long now coming into place.
There's a possibility that I may have another job
right after the Census one. Now I'm a little bit excited because even if I
don't get it I may have a volunteer option again which would still allow me to
do what I want to do.
Remember before I left Ca I was volunteering at a
maker shop in Costa Mesa, well looks like they are still looking for volunteers and they have a teacher position open.
I see a path before me that I have never seen before and I don't think I could
see it now if I hadn't gone through what I've gone.
The red button on the turkey popped. After all the bitching and moaning too. I
really am amazed I'm alive today. I hate the lessons I had to learn, but I see
them for what they are.
Love you
--
Alex
Henry Chavira Thu,
Jul 30, 2020 at 9:13 AM
To: Alex
Hi Mijo,
Skeptical happiness is a lot better than no
happiness. Skepticism tends to get you
grounded in that you don’t become euphoric but at the same time allows you to
appreciate and enjoy what you do have, so don’t berate yourself. Having a goal, even if you don’t get to it in
a straight line also helps. For a lot of
us that goal is achieved in fits and starts and stops and restarts, but the
light at the end of the tunnel keeps us going.
Are you thinking of applying for the teaching
position at the shop? If so, that would
probably require you to move to OC other wise you probably have a 1 ½ hour
drive each way. But, it would get you
into something that you have wanted for some time, working with your hands and
seeing the results of those efforts.
How long is the census job? According to the Constitution the results of
the census are supposed to be in place before the next congress convenes in
January, but with this covid thing there is talk of extending the deadline
until next year. Although I doubt that
the repugs are going to go along with that because they will do anything to
decrease the base for the dems. Since
the majority of the people missing from the census at this time are the
homeless, the illegals (which can’t vote), and POC with little if any education
the repugs want to keep them off the list.
I’m happy to hear that you are
looking forward to the next chapter of your life (single for the moment) with a
positive outlook and a cheery disposition.
As I’ve said before, it is amazing what getting out of a toxic
relationship will to for you mental well being. Love you
To: Henry Chavira
That's the thing, I'm ok with being single at the
moment. I have some world traveling I have to do.
Not saying I want to be single forever, just not now
or the foreseeable future.
The Uygher situation looks like a bad situation globally waiting to happen...
Topped with Covid... Skeptical Happiness!!
I'm enjoying things once again.. oh.. proof of the
skeptical.
So I'm shoveling mounds of dirt filling in the
irrigation trenches. I had to switch from my usual handedness, due to my back.
I've had this on my mind since my scooter accident all those years ago, it goes
numb from time to time if I stand to long.
Skeptical Happiness!! I laugh, because what's the point of getting
mad. Something about pig wrestling or the other.
I realize things are not "ideal", but I
have a plan that actually looks like I will be able to do what I want to do
versus need, on earning an income. If things go as planned.
Again, something about best laid plans or whatever.
Love
[Quoted text hidden]
Henry Chavira Thu,
Jul 30, 2020 at 2:27 PM
To: Alex
Mijo,
It sounds as if you have finally made peace
with yourself. You seem to have reached
the point where you realize that your todays and tomorrows are your
responsibility and you are OK with that.
Consider yourself lucky, not too many people come to that realization. Too many of them think that their future
depends on what other people do for or against them. Your skeptical happiness is a sign of inner
peace. Congratulations.
When did your accident occur, I don’t know if M and I
had returned from Brazil (Aug, ’95) because several months after the accident
we got a call from the junk yard that we had to get your scooter out of
hock. Marc took care of that for
us. I may have been while I was in
Brazil and M had not gotten there yet.
If you were not 18 at the time, I don’t understand why your mother did
not get you treatment because you were still on my Xerox coverage. I did not find out about it until several
months after it happened, when she sent me a letter saying you had been
injured.
You mentioned other opportunities, does that go hand
in hand with traveling? I hope so. I hope you have the opportunity to see the
world like I have, it is awe inspiring.
[Quoted text hidden]
Alex Thu,
Jul 30, 2020 at 3:01 PM
To: Henry Chavira
I think this was '92 June in Garden Grove before we
moved there in '98... irony. I was 18 at the time.
So I've been trying to figure out how I can start my
next chapter work wise and it "dawned" on me about the maker shop, if
I volunteer I still get access, If I get a job there it's even better. Even
with the distance I wouldn't move anytime soon. I'm fine with the commute at
the moment, I'm in a very unique situation so I'm trying to maximize/leverage
the bonuses out of it. Sure it's far but not paying rent really helps. 72
miles, 150 est round trip and it looks like it's a part time position from what
I recall. This is the source of tools and resources I need to get this all
moving forward to hopefully something sustaining.
|
|
 |
Reevaluating my education, starting with US History (Enlightenment origins,
etc.) and rabbit trailing into science and it's varied disciplines and just
looking for confirmation of foundational beliefs that reflect reality and not
wishful thinking. Psychology, philosophy, sociology, Evolution, Astrophysics,
Physics, World History, humanities (etc/etc/etc) have been foundational in
getting my bearings. I've learned to look past the noise, and see how many
wondrous things there are in this world viewed through knowing my world in a
skeptical manner. To quote Socrates - I know nothing (he was a real shit
stirrer back in his day). This has been something to keep me focused and
centered mentally, learning how to identify bullshit (logical fallacies) turned
the light on so to speak. It was the mental confidence boost I needed and put
things in perspective that continues to drive me today. I've stopped looking
for instant answers and realize that it takes time and that it's ok to take as
long as you need, self pressure while it can be good generally get's compared
to the production levels of the world which causes an apples to oranges
comparison. I've learned to "read" the language printed and catch the
slant of how the news is reported or what is reported on about the government.
I don't know is the most acceptable answer... despite being told the opposite
as a kid. :D
I have going to Japan as a priority. 2 week trip to
Tokyo, with a primary focus on the big outdoor attractions. Misawa is part of
the itinerary. Restarting my Japanese re-learning, I'm fairly confident I can
have enough done by the time I get there and get by. The only question I have
is when to go... I'm aware of the weather and how it varies between the
islands. Spring I can see the sakura bloom or Summer for the festivals or Fall
for more festivals or Winter for even more festivals. There is no season I
wouldn't go to Japan and experience. Even the humid season.
So, until then I muddle forward. Skeptically Happy!
--
Alex
[Quoted text hidden]
Alex Thu,
Jul 30, 2020 at 3:35 PM
To: Henry Chavira
I guess you could say, while I do not have the gift
of gab I can read a person and pick out identifiable traits, habits,
deconstruct what they say to have a meaningful conversation, I can identify personality
types by the words people use, and topped with working a corporate gig for 20 +
years gave me tons of data to work with. Cooking has become sort of a
philosophy for me in how to approach things. View it like a recipe, each dish
has to be approached and prepared in a specific manner to be considered for its
namesake. People, relationships, the dynamics of environment, there's a whole
lot of things that make up reality. I want to know as much as I can about
everything worth knowing. There's this thing about success and achievement that
I heard for a long time and it's always been
the positive mental attitude that helps you overcome
things. I never had it, not till now and always was quick with the self
loathing doubt (yeah depression). Realizing that I can only control me (maybe?) and also not wanting to be 50/60 years old
in a motorized mobility scooter with an oxygen tank asking the cocktail girl at
the casino for another free drink while playing the penny slots waiting to die.
I see a lot of life so much more approachable, I
have a basic foundational understanding of life and the world around me that
comports to reality and that my knowledge will always be lacking and incomplete
which drives me to be better and want better for myself and others by continuing
to pursue additional educational experiences.
--
Alex
[Quoted text hidden]
