no bueno

 Off day

Suicide on the mind... No bueno

Really off today

Cranky.. agitated... Anxious as fuck...

Sleeping... All done for the day.

Other people's plans... 

I need to reevaluate.. sleep.. need sleep.

Feeling very manic in my head..

So.. now what.. apparently I didn't post this before my nap..

Feeling out of sorts... Like I went on a whirlwind tour of misery and adventure... Now I'm sitting in confusion because I don't know..

I seriously cannot pick apart my feelings at the moment... I'm irritated.. but don't know why.. work.. not working.. motivated but tired all the time.. covid.. my kids.. thier kids...

Feelings of loneliness... The big stuff seems to be prevelent lately.. trying not to freak out about the future.. trying to be present in the moment..

 

So many negative emotions filling me in at the moment... Failure.. comparing myself to others is garbage.. but here I am.. this fucked in the head bullshit about material possessions.. stuff that I can rationalize normally is not becoming rationalized...

 

I'm feeling destructive and caught myself trying to "nuke" things... I'm upset that planned things didn't happen.

I hate technology... Only because it's just becomes more garbage as it develops.. technology is killing humanity..

Not a unabomber.. but still did see the correlation more so now with the internet and it's connectivity with everything. Knowledge is great... But just like crack.. moderation..

Sorry had to.

Knowledge is nowhere like crack, however there are differences in the quality of knowledge.