6 messages
Alex Wed, Jul 29, 2020 at 7:51 PM
To: Enrique Chavira
I'm going to make that the title of a future book I plan to write but will probably forget about within a week.
But enough about that. So I've had this weird tinker/gadget/builder bug since who knows when, and I know the human biology on it now as well. I've been trying to plan the next steps now that I have a job secured and was thinking how it's somewhat of a bummer that the job is temporary when I was thinking about what I have planned as what's going to be something hopefully full time. Making things, sort of cheap rustic picnic furniture with a modern twist and have integrated electronics, phone charger, bluetooth speakers, lights, etc..
I've tinkered and stopped and started for so long I always got discouraged because circumstances usually made continuing new hobbies not feasible. The depression being a big culprit of it all but now that that seems to be "non-existent", which again... skeptical happiness is here at the moment. I see the pieces of a puzzle I have been working on for so long now coming into place.
There's a possibility that I may have another job right after the Census one. Now I'm a little bit excited because even if I don't get it I may have a volunteer option again which would still allow me to do what I want to do.
Remember before I left Ca I was volunteering at a maker shop in Costa Mesa, well looks like they are still looking for volunteers and they have a teacher position open. I see a path before me that I have never seen before and I don't think I could see it now if I hadn't gone through what I've gone.
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The red button on the turkey popped. After all the bitching and moaning too. I really am amazed I'm alive today. I hate the lessons I had to learn, but I see them for what they are.
Love you
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Alex
Henry Chavira Thu, Jul 30, 2020 at 9:13 AM
To: Alex
Hi Mijo,
Skeptical happiness is a lot better than no happiness. Skepticism tends to get you grounded in that you don’t become euphoric but at the same time allows you to appreciate and enjoy what you do have, so don’t berate yourself. Having a goal, even if you don’t get to it in a straight line also helps. For a lot of us that goal is achieved in fits and starts and stops and restarts, but the light at the end of the tunnel keeps us going.
Are you thinking of applying for the teaching position at the shop? If so, that would probably require you to move to OC other wise you probably have a 1 ½ hour drive each way. But, it would get you into something that you have wanted for some time, working with your hands and seeing the results of those efforts.
How long is the census job? According to the Constitution the results of the census are supposed to be in place before the next congress convenes in January, but with this covid thing there is talk of extending the deadline until next year. Although I doubt that the repugs are going to go along with that because they will do anything to decrease the base for the dems. Since the majority of the people missing from the census at this time are the homeless, the illegals (which can’t vote), and POC with little if any education the repugs want to keep them off the list.
I’m happy to hear that you are looking forward to the next chapter of your life (single for the moment) with a positive outlook and a cheery disposition. As I’ve said before, it is amazing what getting out of a toxic relationship will to for you mental well being. Love you
To: Henry Chavira
That's the thing, I'm ok with being single at the moment. I have some world traveling I have to do.
Not saying I want to be single forever, just not now or the foreseeable future.
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The Uygher situation looks like a bad situation globally waiting to happen... Topped with Covid... Skeptical Happiness!!
I'm enjoying things once again.. oh.. proof of the skeptical.
So I'm shoveling mounds of dirt filling in the irrigation trenches. I had to switch from my usual handedness, due to my back. I've had this on my mind since my scooter accident all those years ago, it goes numb from time to time if I stand to long.
Skeptical Happiness!! I laugh, because what's the point of getting mad. Something about pig wrestling or the other.
I realize things are not "ideal", but I have a plan that actually looks like I will be able to do what I want to do versus need, on earning an income. If things go as planned.
Again, something about best laid plans or whatever.
Love
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Henry Chavira Thu, Jul 30, 2020 at 2:27 PM
To: Alex
Mijo,
It sounds as if you have finally made peace with yourself. You seem to have reached the point where you realize that your todays and tomorrows are your responsibility and you are OK with that. Consider yourself lucky, not too many people come to that realization. Too many of them think that their future depends on what other people do for or against them. Your skeptical happiness is a sign of inner peace. Congratulations.
When did your accident occur, I don’t know if M and I had returned from Brazil (Aug, ’95) because several months after the accident we got a call from the junk yard that we had to get your scooter out of hock. Marc took care of that for us. I may have been while I was in Brazil and M had not gotten there yet. If you were not 18 at the time, I don’t understand why your mother did not get you treatment because you were still on my Xerox coverage. I did not find out about it until several months after it happened, when she sent me a letter saying you had been injured.
You mentioned other opportunities, does that go hand in hand with traveling? I hope so. I hope you have the opportunity to see the world like I have, it is awe inspiring.
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Alex Thu, Jul 30, 2020 at 3:01 PM
To: Henry Chavira
I think this was '92 June in Garden Grove before we moved there in '98... irony. I was 18 at the time.
So I've been trying to figure out how I can start my next chapter work wise and it "dawned" on me about the maker shop, if I volunteer I still get access, If I get a job there it's even better. Even with the distance I wouldn't move anytime soon. I'm fine with the commute at the moment, I'm in a very unique situation so I'm trying to maximize/leverage the bonuses out of it. Sure it's far but not paying rent really helps. 72 miles, 150 est round trip and it looks like it's a part time position from what I recall. This is the source of tools and resources I need to get this all moving forward to hopefully something sustaining.
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Reevaluating my education, starting with US History (Enlightenment origins, etc.) and rabbit trailing into science and it's varied disciplines and just looking for confirmation of foundational beliefs that reflect reality and not wishful thinking. Psychology, philosophy, sociology, Evolution, Astrophysics, Physics, World History, humanities (etc/etc/etc) have been foundational in getting my bearings. I've learned to look past the noise, and see how many wondrous things there are in this world viewed through knowing my world in a skeptical manner. To quote Socrates - I know nothing (he was a real shit stirrer back in his day). This has been something to keep me focused and centered mentally, learning how to identify bullshit (logical fallacies) turned the light on so to speak. It was the mental confidence boost I needed and put things in perspective that continues to drive me today. I've stopped looking for instant answers and realize that it takes time and that it's ok to take as long as you need, self pressure while it can be good generally get's compared to the production levels of the world which causes an apples to oranges comparison. I've learned to "read" the language printed and catch the slant of how the news is reported or what is reported on about the government. I don't know is the most acceptable answer... despite being told the opposite as a kid. :D
I have going to Japan as a priority. 2 week trip to Tokyo, with a primary focus on the big outdoor attractions. Misawa is part of the itinerary. Restarting my Japanese re-learning, I'm fairly confident I can have enough done by the time I get there and get by. The only question I have is when to go... I'm aware of the weather and how it varies between the islands. Spring I can see the sakura bloom or Summer for the festivals or Fall for more festivals or Winter for even more festivals. There is no season I wouldn't go to Japan and experience. Even the humid season.
So, until then I muddle forward. Skeptically Happy!
--
Alex
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Alex Thu, Jul 30, 2020 at 3:35 PM
To: Henry Chavira
I guess you could say, while I do not have the gift of gab I can read a person and pick out identifiable traits, habits, deconstruct what they say to have a meaningful conversation, I can identify personality types by the words people use, and topped with working a corporate gig for 20 + years gave me tons of data to work with. Cooking has become sort of a philosophy for me in how to approach things. View it like a recipe, each dish has to be approached and prepared in a specific manner to be considered for its namesake. People, relationships, the dynamics of environment, there's a whole lot of things that make up reality. I want to know as much as I can about everything worth knowing. There's this thing about success and achievement that I heard for a long time and it's always been
the positive mental attitude that helps you overcome things. I never had it, not till now and always was quick with the self loathing doubt (yeah depression). Realizing that I can only control me (maybe?) and also not wanting to be 50/60 years old in a motorized mobility scooter with an oxygen tank asking the cocktail girl at the casino for another free drink while playing the penny slots waiting to die.
I see a lot of life so much more approachable, I have a basic foundational understanding of life and the world around me that comports to reality and that my knowledge will always be lacking and incomplete which drives me to be better and want better for myself and others by continuing to pursue additional educational experiences.
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Alex
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