and no donate

 Fuck this is hard....

My emotions are right there and waiting to go off...

Reasoning gets one so far and it's painfully obvious to me that in this occasion lot of people lack it.

Simple questions....  My brain seizes up, I get this fight or flight reaction when in a stressful situation, that really isn't worth it.

Though I findyself wanting an outlet something to release whatever this is.. this notion of expectations not being met, when they usually are.

I do want to cry... And not also.. I think I need to as a stress release.

I am panicking.. I know it... The place I was at.. is it temporary well it would have to be.. generally it is.. as nothing is perm.

The exception that comes to mind are those who have an imbalance and function off a single emotion.

 

And I'm here again.. this languishing pit.. and it not where I want to be... I hate this feeling... 

 

The arguing with the litterer didn't help.

 Tuning out the noise is a pain.. it's everywhere... Fuck this existence.. seriously, I get.. do I?? Do I get it?

 I think I need a cry.. the back thing and the job loss and how knows what.. yeah very weak, am I.

 

I want to talk to myself to validate my thoughts and that's not how it works.. I need to find someone or something that works as it should.

 

I don't have a lot of stock in shrinks this day n age.. though I guess if I found one well versed in phil & self aware.

 I wonder is that possible..

Am I deluding myself.. another anxiety to add.

I get that there is no cure for humanity, aside from death.

I mean, I don't but I doubt I'll see anything remotely close in my lifetime.

My expectations.. are they extravagent? Things to operate as intended. 

Yes the human element, yet that's for human interaction expectations. I'm talking inanimate objects. Which are designed and used by people.

So there probably is something there.. I don't know..

I want to cry and sleep and get over this shit.. I hate being out of sorts..