Freedom
What the fuck is this bullshit!?
Don't get me wrong, people should be free but not free in the sense that they have this power that prevents the whole and the individual from prospering.
Yet here we are.
Still wrangling with the depression this week after Portland. Nothing has changed since I left, but I'm so emotionally spent it's fucking work to do shit this week. Though while I have done a number of things...
The bitterness is not helping, my brain feels like it was on spin dry for too long. The fucked up expectations and preconceptions about "what I should" be doing are messing with me.
Im going to have to ???????
What.. not like I know if chillin is going to actually reset my thoughts back to being more positive.
My body is screaming... The stress.. the depression... My nerve endings feel fried.
Which also makes me think I REALLY should probably quit weed.
One I hate being dependent on shit as a means to cope.. however I also recognize that I need coping mechanisms.
Two I have to smoke too much to get an effect.
Three consumed a shit ton in PDX...
The helter skelter day to day in PDX fucked me up more than I thought it would.
This anxiety, and FUD is no bueno.
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