Generation ?

 To have reached a level of understanding about the world in which I live if is something that is actually quite remarkable in the grand scheme of things, that is if I'm to believe what I read. Sadly this make me wonder how much if any of it is "true" or what can I actually believe. 

Maybe there's a strong set of confirmation biases taking root in my psyche or the reality that I see is the actual reality around us.

I grew up in a suburban landscape that is Southern California starting in the late 70's. The 2nd child of mixed raced parents. He was a arrogant daredevil wanting to see what the world offered beyond the border armpit of a city in West Texas, El Paso. Play it Mr Robbins.

Ah yes Texas, the one star state. Loved it ever since I saw that one on the internet. Be who you are, but be a better version. That is a very narrow ledge, a razor's edge if you take it too seriously. 

I'll hopefully address "quotes from famous people" for $100 later on. 

So a different "colored Southern boy" marries a Georgia Peach that apparently had worms in it. Blech.

My acerbic words are my feelings towards my parents and I get to have them. These are my experiences.

Living with a father who was the quintessential workaholic (namely due to a shitty marriage), but also hasn't reached a level of self awareness I'd say. Very much bought into the "hard work" ethic (one size does not fit all). He had a stable childhood to some extent, once he left home and lived with his grandparents. Apparently being the oldest boy gave him privileges that his sisters didn't enjoy. Jealousy and a bit of resentment was the impression I got. Who'd blame them, considering it was 1950's, border town that I know he was a trouble maker, had been visiting relatives in Chihuahua (Cuca/Henry (aunt/uncle) related I think some how). Michael, Bambi, Professor... someone couldn't make it in the military - had a record. Is in LA during this time. Tries working, UCLA and partying full time.. didn't last long. Pops joins AF, visits Philippines, Japan, Key West - meets my mom..

She's from Decatur... Currently in Conyers if I believe records are correct.  She's oldest of 2, her sister is a few years younger. Don't have any specifics aside from this..

Her father died when she was 12..

He was a raging alcoholic and died of cirrhosis..

Something about here breaking her toes when she was delivering ice one time..

She said her grandmother was a full bloodied Cherokee - at 10 when my parents where getting divorced I was dragged across the country by her to go to Ga to trace her ancestry. While I have what  guess are fond memories it's with a new perspective that I get to revisit this experience. Camping along the 40 .. Flagstaff... KOA Campgrounds.. Stuckeys... weird side show roadside attractions.. Teepee shaped trading posts driving through reservations... the Painted Desert.. and I find myself fighting back tears on this.. is it because I don't have anything at the moment.. am I that lonely.. I need to get my pulse back down...