Personal observation

 So I feel like I have reached this point in my life of trying to figure out shit that I have achieved this one small thing.. which in reflection is a huge fucking thing. This ability to dissect at situation and evaluate it in what as far as I can tell in being able to weigh the outcomes, analyze the situation for what it is... but I question this once again because of my paradoxical belief that the perceived reality is an illusion and attempts to comprehend it are actually meaningless, but never the less the pursuit of knowledge and experiencing this reality are paramount in my day to day drive. I know I lack a many thing as far as it relates to the disciplined approach towards things, but I do think I have reached a point now in my life that I can take that plunge. I never would have imagined writing would be on this list. This ability to disassociate from the situation, evaluate it in it's emotional and logical aspects. Even if I document my awareness there are unseen forces that control a good part of my actions both asleep and awake. We are all automatons..