Thinking to myself how there is nothing as an easy answer to a complex question. Sometime even so called easy questions may give an impression to having an easy answer but I think upon closer inspection you'll see it's not.
For one to attempt to give an easy answer seems like one would need to have an intimate experience with the choice of words in order for them to chose specific ones in an attempt to make an easy answer easy.
Words having meaning and purpose and are not just the manual method of getting ones thoughts archived in a manner, to get their view across, to tell a story or fill out a form. Writing is a fundamental technology and learned skill, but understand this. Any aspect of humanity that allows us to interact with or ourselves could be viewed as a skill. From feeling to tying your shoes to flying a plane to digging a trench and designing counting 300 digits of pi. Some are privileged to have better skills than others due to a number of factors, but primarily that reality has to be because the past said so. Your path was made before you were born and the choices are written in the particles that govern space time.
So, if the present is predicated on yesterday I have no control and tomorrow will unfold irrespective. To be able to see this, is both fulfilling and disconcerting. The reality is more reassuring than anything before.. I'm not overwhelmed by the changes that occur in my life. Granted I say this now... Seriously I'm trying to see what other fuckin curve balls life has planned. I do feel confidant that I have bitten off more than I can chew. I am freaking excited.. supercalifragilisticexpialidocious fucking excited.
Omg.... Totes ma goates!!!
I have this scrapped the bottom barrel moment feeling I think.. granted it could be phenomenally worse .. phenomenally!
I have a long road.. barring meteors and 3rd world wars I think I can do something.
I can find something... I feel more confident than I have in a long time... Nervous.. anxious a bit.. I'm taking a leap.. deep end.
Jan I have production deadline.. I need to draw up a calendar here..
(Side note)
I was distracted by an email.. spark weight loss clinical study...
I'm having a rough time.. haven't gained but haven't lost.. yes been busy.. I get that.. maybe that's the focus.. ok got it.. feeling weird. But that's not it...
I noticed that is seems like life in some ways absolutely feels like a waking dream..
In a car driving by again and again . Blurred visions of the same
Though something's repeated always have a weird familiarity to them.. a 2nd data point.. the stacks of images flipped through showing your days of life.. a 3rd, 4th, 5th, 52nd experience.. stacked images, memories showing a moment in time of motion and emotion.. feelings gone.. feeling gone..
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