I lost my shit shortly thereafter... I had a moment in the garage sometime after that event... I'm not sure if it was later that night or several days later.. I was hibernating in the garage.. it was the only place I could smoke weed and surf the Internet at the same time.. 2016 I think.. maybe 2015..
I had a breakdown.. thinking of having to save my son.. this 6 foot tall son of mine.. who had everything going for him... But because of the household the way it was.. non communicative... Just accepting the status quo for what it is..
We are not an open up type family to discuss our trauma so to speak...
These eyes that can't look in...
I lost my shit.. my mind did feel like it did a bit of a soft reset.. like I broke a synaptic connection to what my crumbling reality was. The quake before the quake..
I tried with her one last time in NC.. she said no.. X leaving NC really did a number. Not blaming him for anything...
I don't blame my kids for anything... Seriously.. like 0.. I'm actually shocked.. I was going say a few things but as I tried to recollect I found that I still don't blame them..
Fuck I love them soooo GD much....
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