my notes are reminders of past thoughts and intentions.. ideas... more projects.. to be able to hyper fixate on a thing. Singular... but yes it comes at a price.. life always has a condition..
i'm bothered about things... like always.. bothered about my blind spots.. my ignorance.. because it does make me not want to do things.. i do make more than enough excuses to not do.. weather.. out late.. slept funny.. wake up in a bad mood.. seeing me commit actions that I question are they helping?
helping me.. ?
to do what? this is the bullshit i tell myself.. there are a number of things missing about myself.. things that I think I have excused or rationalized away into a new for of procrastinating aka waiting for the right time.. for when the stars and planets align... which is bullshit..
or am i acting in a preprogrammed manner? Is my reaction/thought about procrastinating what I see as making excuses that part of me i need to correct? the critical aspect of myself.. (more analysis paralysis?)
i need to walk more... haven't lifted in a hot minute.. feel like I'm slipping away from what I was trying to do... my lack of self discipline...
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