Had a weird as they get dream the other night... Last night was pretty weird too...
The the other night it was around this fear of betrayal... Or at least that's how I'm reading it. I'm in Mexico or I think I'm in Mexico w Barb and it some sort of fun holiday excursion driving south of the boarder in a 80 red t top trans am or similar vehicle.. which I am borrowing somehow. Only to have what seems this betrayal occur with her towards me. It was up there with that one incident in Costa Mesa and M all those years ago.
It made me have a panic attack and wake up fucking shook, almost a psychotic moment shook.. I hate betrayal, but I feel that it's also a defining aspect of me.. one of these it happened and I'm not only a victim but also a perpetrator as well. In that I feel I can connect those moments in my life together... Which needless to say I have a lot of regret for my actions towards Pam.. and others.
I feel like I'm aging here.. from all of this unveiling of reality about things.. myself.. others.. then again.. localized perceptions can be a bit off.
Last night's dream had a 1950s/60s suburban America vibe... Felt a bit like being in Long Beach. W Pam, and it had a religious vibe... I sent park fair thing.. weird.. very weird.
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