my desire to live vs my desire to not live is on thin ice these days. The levels of anxiety I am going through at the the moment is a bit nerve wracking at the moment needless to say. the desire to want to do something, that seems a bit daunting and unapproachable along with this day to day existence has me spinning around... so I have to ask myself this question.. is it people that drive me crazy or that is is it the social interactions that I have that make me stressed out.. that I allow them to.. or the underlying factors that push me in such a way... the desire to be alone and to be in a crowd at the same time.. the mental exhaustion that comes with being around others... the want to be around family and then simultaneously not want to be.. the longing for past familiar events and something new..
this anxiety that I have.. that I am crippled by or am I making excuses.. am I once again ignoring the obvious.. more like blind to it.. then again.. it's more like ignoring it with me..
I want to be a part of things... then again nope..
off to get shoes...
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