The family status

So where to recap....

where should I actually start....


I was originally going to make another self absorbed post about what triggers me and why the fuck it's so god damned hard to avoid, but also maybe some more self realization... am I that asshole that people avoid or are the majority of people just that unfucking interesting?

I have a multi volume set on my own cringe worth moments, I don't really think I'm better than others, I'm just flabbergasted at how dumb the majority of others are and yes I use dumb versus ignorant. As most people don't give a rat's ass outside their own interests (myself included) to be bothered to educate themselves on what it means to exist on this planet. I'm talking about going past the day to day pop culture/internet fueled mass media consumption. Is everyone just as fucked up?

I absolutely believe they are, look at who's president. Shudder.

Too many people want to take a back seat to reality, ignore the facts of evidence, and deny reason. Generation after generation, though not at the pace of evolution, society has clawed it's way towards something better. I'm pondering at the possibilities of why reality exists, and exactly what it is.

Why are humans seemingly afflicted with the mental illness of being human.

So what triggers me....

80's nostalgia

Really wanted to watch this episode again, but my emotional state won't permit it. I really hate being held hostage to something "trivial(?)".


I've also realized that words really are terrible at conveying feelings and emotional intent. That or I'm too lazy to put down in words a fully coherent paragraph to adequately convey what I write.

Fine...

trivial.... There is a double meaning here. Quotes are to indicate a bit of sarcasm, while the question mark is being honest and asking if that's really true.

Does that make sense.. is it clear now?

Is it "trivial" - that is to make fun of "walk it off" types

Is it trivial? - that is express my concern about this and wonder how long is this going to last? Will I always react this way to anything from my past?

I want to cry all the time still.



So the status...

Left NC the Friday after Thanksgiving last year. Helped everyone else to Tx, drove by myself to Ca.

My oldest son is going through his own mental issues, I'm jobless, behind on car payments, and I'm not changing any day soon apparently, some really shitty habits. I want to and then say fuck it. So I guess I don't want it. I know my anxiety is in full gear, but this indica probably sin't helping the eating habits.

I needed a job last month... I'm going to be fucked here pretty soon unless I can get some cash soon.