I don't know if it's really anything new. I've always had an issue with nostalgia, the years have come and gone and now I'm looking the down the dark tunnel of just being alone and getting older.
It's doesn't help that I can't listen to almost any music from my past, at least the music that quantified my youth. The music that matters and the ancillary noise that paints a familiar picture into the past.
Even now, Jane's Addiction, a band I had no strong connection with. I listened to them on occasion nothing serious. Musically they are a phenomenal band, one that (IMO) I wish they did more, even if I didn't really listen to them.
Even now I find myself just wanting to cry... and cry and cry... fuck it's been this way for over a month (?).
I feel so inadequate, so worthless, so useless.
I have no confidence in myself aside from fucking things up.
I really fucking hate depression. I hate how it saps the joy away from you.
Yet I continue to wait... and muddle alon(e)g.
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