Sadly I lack the overly emotional state of my wife to truly understand. Though not discounting my own melodramatic experiences from time to time, this weekend was a doozy!
So after two fun filled coaster days we seems to becoming to an end in the ride. Having more or less a talk about things and her recognizing what the hell happened I'm glad... and I did tell her how this was the first time that I ever felt like I no longer wanted to be around her.
She's mellowing a bit... yeah white girl drink!!!
We need a night out... fuck a weekend... but I don't see that happening for a bit..
I'm really trying to shift gears... I've been running in hear gear for so long it's really trying... and I know that my driving habits will be the hardest.
But sadly I haven't had as much time to post here as I'd like... however.
Because of the change of mood I can really say I'm fucking happy as hell.. and legitimately.
It's weird... scary... exciting... these changes.. mentally... that I have been taking.. I've seen progress.. small.. but I see it.. and that makes my determination to go further... I have a number of things on my plate.. but I'm not going to rush into things like I normally would... slow and steady... 20+ years of trying to figure me and life out are at an end... so to speak.. I'm at the point I've looked for for soooo fucking long... a point where I know what I want... finally.. finally after decades of trying to figure out shit... I got out of that self imposed(?) exile and see where I want to go finally.... remember... your past is your guide of what to do and not to do...
Your presents dictates you and what you end up doing in the end.
Just like I told Zach the other day.... the best time to plant a tre was 20 years ago... the 2nd best time is today.
Despite the cheesy melodramatic cliched manga story tropes... train hard and achieve everything... it really is the way to do things...
Well I may be exaggerating on the everything aspect... I think the over corporate one is what it really is... Just do it. You are your own worst enemy. Do not discount needing to feed and care for your mind in more than one way or another... do not discount trivial matters but recognize them as what they are... learn from whatever you can... as everything as a lesson in it... if you want it to.
But I digress... or rabbit trail or whatever... today is a good day...
Music - APB - Non Stop Violence ```` JT - One White Duck
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