My intrusive thoughts are all over the place and currently struggling to keep my shit together as I am in a constant struggle to maintain my sanity in the midst of family and their own anxiety issues...
I struggle with others.. people trigger me and family triggers me the most... People's other anxiety.. people's idiosyncrasies and the like...
I find some of these thoughts a bit more disturbing than I'd like... And it's forcing me to think about things I didn't think of previously... About people and their actions and who they are vs who I've seen previously..
It's making my masking something I have to think about more...
I want to write about observations but it'll seem like I'm whining... Or is it truths about others who I have preconceptions about that are being challenged..
I know I'm over loaded mentally at the moment and it's not helping... Feeling out of step.. and not in a place that is not helping with that is nooooo bueno.
This is where I grow weary and despondent.. with everything.. with my own being... My skin.. the air I breath.. my vision.. what I hear and feel and experience... Everything is annoying to me... A constant itch to scratch that can never be satisfied.
The familiar becomes abhorrent... Repugnant... Repulsive..
The analysis of things is killing me.. these things I held in high regard now are triggers of revulsion and contempt.. I'm done..
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