I honestly do not fucking know a god damned thing.. even these words will somehow betray me at some point..
I read about the science of reality & humanity... And I question my reasons behind my actions.. behind my thoughts and inclinations... I feel id rather still just not want to be here.. because of the pain of existence.. of trying... of failing... of loss... This underlying directive that seems to guide me in nothing lasts forever so why bother that I can't seem to shake or overcome.. that haunts me thru my days.. but I want... And I don't think I should..
My disassociation with things has a down side..
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