so that seizure did a number on my already fucked up teeth, and it's about to push me over the edge at the moment mentally. It seems like one monumental fucked up thing after another the past few years... I have my mental crisis, go into survival mode, weather the depression and fucked up thoughts for however long it takes. The storm passes and I deal with it and move on to picking up the pieces, that is, how do I get back on track now that the path is gone or that "hope" is not gonna happen. Primarily the job situation and that's already playing a number on me as it is. I had a job in the fucking bag, but it was contingent on the economy not taking a massive shit on that... which we know didn't happen. For the 3rd time I've gone through this being fucked by the economy and missing out on a job.
The problem is that I've been getting to a max velocity on boredom here.
So just to sum up the the mental situation...
Knee is fucked.. hips are fucked... feet and ankles are now screaming at me.
Back is fucked.
I'm paranoid about my physical health now to a point that I've stopped my beneficial exercising.. even that extreme shit I was doing.. the very long walks... inconsistently that is.
I'm losing my shit on my weight... which is making me eat like crap as of late.. because I don't want to leave the house to go shopping.. I don't want to have an episode out in public.. though I now what the signs are.. or at least for that last instance.
I'm finding that I'm getting bored of drugs.. well weed that is.. I think i've mentioned this in the past.
my teeeeeeth.... I'm stressing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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