well I should say when I go looking at historical places in and around OC.
I'm on the verge of just bawling my eyes out right now. I long for family but I have to stop myself and go why do I long for that dysfunctionality? Is it because it's familiar? Something known vs being alone.
Looking at streets and places and locations and memories of the past come barreling through like kitten across the face when your asleep.
Though the emotionally reaction is not the same.
Why does the past bring me to tears? Is it because I find myself in a not so great situation currently? My lack of emotional bonds with others close to me, near by that is? Family is out of state, kids are struggling, everyone I know is struggling.
I want pizza... may need to go to Jerry's later today...
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