I'm in a mental tailspin atm...
triggered?? in fact my mind is so convoluted atm that I'm really at a loss for words over my meltdown over a kids party..
well specifically.. my g son's.. which I find I'm having a hard time with.
I'm finding I have a hard time with the g kids.. as in I guess accepting them... accepting that I have 5 g kids..
which then leads me to go .. YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.
which then makes me feel even worse.. and the fact that I continue to be self centered on this is just more icing on this shit show of how I feel.
i really should have been euthanized as a child...
I'm contemplated not going.. the day before...
or was I triggered in the knowing what a shit show my fam dynamics is and that I'll be there for a few days... enduring said shit show...
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