Finding that as I try not to over think things I still end up overthinking things....
then again.. what is overthinking?
Sure you can look at a menu for too long... hell I spent 40 minutes driving around Costa Mesa trying to figure out something to eat only to end up at Del Taco... again..
Other times I just rush right into things.. with out spending an ounce of thought into whether it is a good decision or not.
I'm there again... on more than one thing to.
I'm tired.. slightly hung over... but I find myself wanting to end things again... what do I come back to this... again and again..
This is were I come to some bad conclusions... namely lack of self worth.
I really don't see a point to life... yet to scared to want to end things.
This existence is fairly mundane and repetitive and boring as all fuck... granted if ones has means I'm sure it's a lot better... but after years of putting in time and nothing to really show for it... working that is.. it's hard not to be beat down on life of what the fuck is all for? so I can be old and in shit health to have that prolonged.
I'm really at a crossroads here in some respects...
tired of being tired.. and nothing seems to work.. (or at least in my head nothing seems to work)...
What do I get from my troubles... nothing but more troubles.. (Sounding like Poopdeck Pappy here now)..
I'm not saying that life couldn't be better I honestly don't see it happening.. even with my harebrained ideas as of late.. I just see myself stuck in something else... why am I wired the way I am and why does it seem like I can never break from it... my habits and behaviors... (getting over emotional again)..
What changes.... can I effectually do?
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