so I'm talking to myself like usually.. you know those conversations one has about themselves and their behaviors and why the hell do they do the fucked up things.. and reflecting on the information that has been in my eyes/ears the past few weeks.. (i smell a skunk outside - SQUIRREL - and the faint aroma .. faint.. 1 makes me think of weed.. 2 I weirdly like it a bit.. a bit..
So my i hate everyone feeling pops in my head (more my resentment towards others) and has me going a mile a minute about the number of reasons why I hate people.. and then thinking about the word - misanthropy - et al.
What is this - feeling that I have where I have (have i?) programmed myself into this cycle of avoiding people.. social situations sans chemicals - I socialize better under the influence.. usually.. but that can also lead to further bad decisions... so a mixed bag and not ideal...
Then the cumulative notion of childhood trauma being the usual culprit, etc. pops into my head..
Something happened, so now this.
Past experiences.. so now this..
I am tired as I write this..
No comments:
Post a Comment
Discourse is the only means of being able to communicate with one another. Assuming one person knows things that you know is not realistic. Spam will be deleted, fallacious messages will be pointed out as such, and educating the reader is not the objective.