fomo keeps me alive

I was mentally jerking into the ether about my unconscious conscious efforts at psycho analyzing Pam's short comings once again... why do I continue to look at that ... What is it about my inferiority that I dwell on her as I do...

Is it some fakatka cursed reverse tsundere situation? I'm not attracted or again is it this "life's an illusion" bullshit that I'm contending with...

So I was saying fomo keeps me alive... Because the more I look at it - life that is (is reason a coping mechanism) and see the illusions that are forced upon this reality, it's a feature not a bug. The evolutionary forces to survive... Why. Considering the bittersweet actuality as it is.

Coping mechanisms...  Considering the 4 Fs... What are the supporting behaviors?? Are there pre cursor behaviors... I know the brain starts well ahead of when we think we are aware...

Road map... It's always a reaction to the environment...  I should finish that Tolle book.. but I'm a bit turned off at it atm... 

Thinking hard... Not wanting to be an echo chamber... I need to develop my people skills... I dislike people in general... 

Baby lizard 🦎