Yippie eye Yea

Ghost Riders in the Sky....

I'm in a weird mood.. I'm slightly buzzed.. slightly high... but in this weird euphoric state of the past - present and hopefully looking good future...

In a country mood thanks to my pop... I feel fairly content at the moment..  things feel good at the moment and I feel optimistic which I never am....

I think I'm there and It's weird.. because this could change my life forever... for how I want it to... and

I'm slightly irritated that it took so damn long... and I say that in a playful sense.. somewhat...

not in a self righteous sort of way.. I hope that's not the intent.. it's the sense of why do I have my middle age to go through this vs.. my youth.. I would have rather been doing this in my youth...

and in some selfish way I guess to exploit my youth as well.. I'd be lying if it wasn't..

I feel like I've found my "thing".... maybe?? I hope...

That's it... if FOOD..... I finally I found it.. holy shit.. I'm soo fucking dense...

Ok...

Soo Food has always.. well at least for the last 20+ years that I have toyed with it in some serious fashion or another..  granted it took me 20 to figure out how to cook.. not great.. but better than most.

Mexican food.. I've been making sauces for years now.. and that's it.. mail order my sauces.. and I've i can do things right I can get financial backing..

I'm holding back my emotions.. I'm bursting at the seams with over emotionalness..  the prospect that it has finally come.. or at the very notion that it has.. is making me to be distracted..

but to actually thinking that if I can change my current status in any fashion excites me beyond belief... and by all means is the first ray of light I have seen in a, long, long, long time.

I may not have to resort to the how grow... well at least on a sustainable scale.


---Update 6/3/2019

Food is not it... something something something else.. maybe my experiences or a book or something using the NS site.. but it's not food.

Turning point??? Like complete life changing type of turning point... you know.... that identifying marker of is this really it?

So I was looking around for an industrial kitchen.. a commercial kitchen to cook up sauces. Why? Um.. Well...

AND JUST LIKE THAT!!!!

ESE' was born.... right fucking now.

Enchilada Sauce Empire....


I laughed my ass off.... seriously... I can't believe I'm going with that.... Now do we pronounce it E-S-E or Ese'!!!

I will need to come up with seasonal sauces....  summer is easy... or you know... I could do the hatch chile one as a completely separate special limited batch edition.....oohhh you fucker!!!

ooohh....

I likey!!!!

Back on meds.... first new dr appt tomorrow.. plus murmurings from the homunoculi

So first with the homunculi as that was the whole catalyst for this post to begin with...

I was pondering in a fleeting moment as usual... aka I'm stoned and thinking.

About a post on reddit that said how a guy started working with some black women and it was a totally funny story about mistaking a new hire... who wasn't she just changed her weave. He being white saying he had some things to learn.

Which got me to thinking about black people... and what do they prefer to be called... black or A/A - African-American.

To which then I was thinking further about how I don't really identify with anything... aside from nationality, that being an American. Nationalism is for idiots.... a country deserves no more allegiance than that which it gives to ALL of it's citizens, I'm really enjoying the American Revolution history lessons I have been getting lately. In fact now that I think about it... while it's not happening as quickly or expeditiously as I would like... I have been learning stuff... and I'm still volunteering at Urban Workshop. so yeah... there.

Wisconsin 2016

I'm fucking flabbergasted.... You can't make this shit up... The GOP acceptance speech is so fucking rehearsed it's not even funny.

I got your back... Are you fucking kidding me??

I can't believe how ignorant I was about things...

But I have to say on a historical perspective... Now is a pretty fucking epic time to be alive.

This is some serious shit happening....

If Sanders gets elected we could see a number of things....

One.. Total civil war... Or some uppity poor sports starting trouble of some scale... All speculation.. Dur...

Two... Be the next major historical figure to launch humanity into the best possible future.... Verus death and destruction from the GOP.

Seriously conservatives are the fucking Empire in my opinion.... I used to be one.