all our actions are some sort of reaction to something previous..

It's all in cycles.. 

But I feel I see the truth of a truth through reasoned thought.. that the the struggles we encounters only through our own reality..

Are just one experience after another in between some slumber and maybe a meal..

The truth is we've all be feed a lie of freedom . Because there's enslavement.. more now than B4 Uncle Lincoln..

the way it is

So gut daam..

I wanted to say something about how we as people see the world.. how do we experience this reality we all share to those who can understand my English.. or my attempts at using it . For 8 will surely fucketh upeth!

microdosing

Another observation..

Noticing immediate attitude change.. from neg to pos

Rationalizing that if I want to pursue this artsy.. club.. thing.. I need to embrace what that entails.. using the in-between ones.. sans substances

To pursue those observations.. that I do note.. case in pop..

critical thoughts

Why are my thoughts wether inside of myself or outside, are typically of a critical nature or slant?

I find that being under the influence helps sharpen my aud(h)dled mind...

Illusions.. that seem real.. reality a nightmarish dream in vivid detail that beguiles all...

Musical side note..

J Vernon McGee is heavily sampled for this song...

Fuckmag - Evil Mothers

also clubbing chocolate fun time

DnB night

guilt by association

My condemnation on the human race summed up...

Just following orders..

Wasn't aware..

I don't know..

Why am I so critical of outside of me and no of myself?

That is I know full well my transgressions and would gladly line up to be first in line so to speak.. not having grace for myself.. or compassion.. or patience..

I look at my failings and flail outwardly.. 🤔

also

Fighting those urges... And again not having a winning argument as to existing 

fuck this

I'm trying to write a post but get distracted but I want to complain..

App not showing correct blog by default again ...

I need to shower..my stinky ass .. I hear owls..

And this thing is fucking shitty response keyboard.. fuck id kill for a physical keyboard.. og BB

One.. hungry fo a po boy...

Crazy story idea about humanity being enslavd by another species, that treats humans like everything else in this planet... 0 regard.

Never see the aliens.. just glimpses. Definitely more of a horror flick..

an epiphany

Self epiphany...

My lack of being deterred by my really bad drug experiences to not stop but continue.. and continue in some extreme manners... Even in my experienced years atm.. tells me something...

a video about sadness and how we react

Comparing to illicit drug use to modify behavior.. mental states..

But conversely it's also that it helps with the creative process.. 

also again..

This is once again while under the influence... Again.. my anecdotal evidence and confirmation bias strikes.. how to get data...

the well

The quality of the water of the well of the mind depends on what it's feed.

Garbage in garbage out..

A songs about the well and various biases and biology tricks we endure as humans...

disobedient

I violated the covenant of the universe by disregarding my virtual coin flip via ddg earlier. I'm being punished w the worst bus/public transit trip ever by hitting red lights and more than a few stops at 10 p on a Fri night... Fo real..

So many weird pick ups... The less than mentally stable.. more so than myself and what seems to be first time riders.. 

noticed

Also it seems that in my depressive moments I don't write as often.

chewing on

This has me thinking... As there is clearly something that resonates with me about this this to a degree.. I have the lyrics of a Subhumans song, Reason for Existence, in my head..

To exist.. to simply exist... To enjoy life minus the rat race mentality is something very much worth pursuing... Though as I like to take things... A drop in the bucket slowly over time and perhaps something might change.. 

This notion changes that lyrical information for me a bit...