Thursday, November 30, 2023

out over the horizon

Having just set sail, it seems like yesterday
But the barnacles and taking on of water tell another story. The faded paint, the broken down equipment tell another story.

The death of those around you that you know but don't. The interconnected webs that make up your reality, the sinewy strands connected to this experience of your own break away.

I find myself looking at today but drawn to past as these moments in time break away. The associations of now become the associations of then.

Death is on the horizon... Always there never visible... Constantly reminded of the moment, hearing the whispers of oblivion. Seeing a haze of grey beset above and below by the colors of life.

Monday, November 27, 2023

grim grinning ghosts

Half asleep at Miami Airport listening to kxlu.

Hearing the Haunted Mansion jam from Disneyland.. thinking about that album I had as a kid at 4... That was the first vinyl I remember listening to. Was goth an inevitable??

Friday, November 3, 2023

Thursday, November 2, 2023

me oh my oh

Not being able to enjoy the moment...

This is me.

Overall I am not what one would call an extrovert, I am the one who enjoys the local hosts pets more so than the people attending said shin dig. I can be social, I can be obnoxious but after many years if trial and error have been able to maintain my chill. Though it really does fucking depend on my mood. There have been numerous times when I have been forced by hook n crook to be present at some social gathering against my will. It's here when my inner bastard begins to leak a bit more. Complaining before arrival and up into next week about the event. More like The Event!

That bitchy drama queen full of selfishness. 

I have a lot of bullshit to unravel... But I found this insight a bit insightful.

So many instances of this... Why complain??  Should I turn it into a positive? What is the balance??